Tynee Talks: Things we should actually BAN instead of Muslims...

Tynee Talks: Things we should actually ban instead of Muslims...

President Business, out here cuttin' up in real life! The Orange Terror has enacted a Muslim Ban for 90 days, and that's messed up. Of all the things he could be concerned about, this Apricot Asshole Ass ninja,  is damaging our country and ruining families. Since he's handing out jobs to unqualified demons left and right, he may as well appoint me ( a sane, normal person) to an office to ban things. He needs to allow me to ban things, that actually need to be banished from this county and the world in general.

For starters he should have banned the following:

Le Fuq Boys: Fuq Boys need to be banished and terminated. They serve no purpose. All they do is ruin lives, hurt feelings, and lie. Fuq Boys always want honor, when they are the most dishonorable mofos on the planet. If anybody is worth banning, it should have definitely been them.

Long A** Job Applications: There is no reason, a job application should be almost 2 hours long! Stop with these asinine questionnaires, that do not really let you know if this employee will be a good fit. If a person meets the initial job requirements, schedule homeboy for an interview. And if a person uploads their resume, stop requiring that they still input their job history. Losing 2 hours of life, and then receiving a rejection email is not cool. Ban this shit!

Mona Scott Young: Exhibit A: VH1 on Mondays & Wednesdays. Nuff said!

Photo Credit: http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/

Student Loan Repayment: Ban Student Loan repayments if the graduate doesn't land a high paying job; that the U.S. Department of Labor Statistics has estimated their salary should be. If a person uses the majority of their check to pay bills, just to live, then they shouldn't have to repay the loan, because clearly the degree was fraud!

Ban Donald from Melania: Listen, Donald Trump shouldn't be allowed within 50 feet of Melania. He needs to be banned from her presence at all times, because clearly she's in clear and present danger! #FreeMelania

 

Tynee Talks: ALTERNATIVE FACTS!

Tynee Talks: Alternative Facts!

 

Photo Credit:
 http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/americas/88684214/seanspicersays-The-perfect-meme-for-the-alternative-facts-era

A new White House Administration, not only ushers in a new President of the United States of America, but a whole new staff, and among that staff, includes a new Press Secretary. White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, wasted no time lying on national television to the American public. I mean this man lied like we weren’t collectively looking at the same thing, as the same damn time.

Photo Credit: Google Images

To make light of his lying ass, his homegirl, White House Counsel Kellyanne Conway, told NBC's Meet The Press, that he didn’t give falsehoods, he gave ALTERNATIVE FACTS! Ladies and gentleman this is not a joke, this heffa got on national t.v. and said her mans didn’t lie, he gave ALTERNATIVE FACTS! I mean where they do that at?

So to continue in the example of key White House staff members, I’m going to list a few Alternative Facts… Maybe if I believe in the bullshit long enough, they'll actually turn into fact.

Bruh Man actually lives on the 5^th floor…

Kim Kardashian  hasn't dated a lot of men…

Photo Credit: http://www.topgistng.com/2015/02/checkout-all-men-kim-kardashian-has.html

Slavery was actually unpaid farming…

Rachel Dolezal is a dark-skinned African American Woman…

Photo Credit: Heavy.com 

Kanye West is sane, and I’d trust him to make key decisions in my life…

Photo Credit: http://ijr.com/2014/08/165381-kanye-west-dealing-paparrazi-blacks-faced-civil-rights-struggle/

Michelle Williams was relevant in Destiny’s Child…

Destiny’s Child wasn’t a set-up to make Beyonce’ a solo star…

K. Michelle & Keyshia Cole would be great at teaching etiquette classes to young girls…

Whenever he says “Just the tip” he means it…

Viola Davis doesn’t walk hard in every scene in every movie…

Peter Gunz straps up every time, but the condom usually breaks…

Photo Credit: VH1.com 

Trump means well… 

Photo Credit: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trump-making-fun-reporters-disability/story?id=35463888

Tynee Talks: Colored Lipstick for Colored Girls

Colored Lipstick

I came across the interesting picture posted above. Harsh comments were attached to the picture and the comments really ruffled my feathers. Not, because I’m sensitive to the craziness that comes with being online, but the fact that there’s an idea floating around, that Black women wearing unconventional lipstick, somehow makes them mentally ill clowns. This truly struck a chord with me, one because I take mental illness very seriously and two, because Black women can don whatever the hell they want. About 2 years ago, two Black women from Detroit, MI, were on ABC’s Shark Tank. They were looking to get a distribution deal for their Lip Bar lipstick line. They were insulted and told that their idea to have these varying shades of lipsticks was a waste of time. These two entrepreneurs are now reaping the benefits of not being conventional and coloring outside the lines. The Lip Bar is now exclusively sold at Target stores nationwide. I say all that to say, that the young lady in the picture could be rocking the Lip Bar products in an effort to support Black business. Or maybe she enjoys matching her shirts with her lipstick, hell I know I do!

Photo Credit: http://inwiththesharks.com/shark-tank-season-6-episode-18-recap/

My eyes were literally bulging out of my sockets at some of the comments I was reading. I mean, sure this woman was rocking turquoise lipstick to match her turquoise tank top, but the way these internet trolls attacked her character based on these feats were atrocious. Things like she must not have a job, she’s ugly, she’s mentally ill, she’s making a mockery out of Black women, etc… Well guess what, she could be making 6 figures and chooses to experiment with various colors like this on her off days. Everybody is attractive to someone. Unless you’re a board certified Psychiatrist, please don’t give out diagnoses to someone you’ve never even had a conversation with. And lastly, just because she chose to wear a wild lip color, doesn’t make a mockery out of Black women, it actually 

shows the diversity among Black women. Point. Blank. Period. Stop projecting your self hate on Black women. Stop trying to police their bodies. Stop trying to place Black women in boxes they don't fit in. Because, as soon as they do conform to what is conventional and traditional they get attacked for that also. They are then accused of trying to be like others, instead of their authentic selves. I guess that would drive someone mentally ill. Black women aren't allowed to live out loud and be carefree, so therefore we try and create safe spaces for our self expression so that we don't run the risk of being beaten down with harmful words. For years we were told that our natural crowns appeared to be clownish aw well. Now we rock our Afros unapologetically. We were told our lips and butts were too big. We were told that our features looked like a circus act, and we were literally put on display at the circus. Now errrybody and they Momma trying to buy what we got. 

So, hey Black girl, keep rocking your bright colors and spreading your magic.Wearing bright colors on your lips does not mean you have some underlying mental health issue. Therefore, continue to wear your bright lipstick and live your life care free and in color. Cause we all know, imitation is to follow and it’s the best form of flattery.  

Tynee Talks: Procreation Practice with her Top 5

Procreation Practice with my Top Five

Listen, if we lived in a perfect world, every 5 years I’d marry and divorce the men in my dreams, so that I could have Procreation Practice on the regular. Procreation Practice is the act of intercourse without any intention of having children or procreating some form of life. I mean I ain’t trying to have a gang of kids populating the Earth and I don’t want to be considered a heaux; so, the best option is to marry and divorce these hotties and get plenty of practice in the meantime. In a perfect world I’d have Procreation Practice aka do the naked tango, aka do the no pants dance, aka share my lady parts with the following Top 5 perfect humans:

Noah aka Aldis Hodge

I have previously told ya’ll I would gladly transport back to slavery if Aldis/Noah was leading me through the Underground Railroad. I’m here for procreation practice in a shack.

Photo Credit: Brian To / WENN

Ralph Angel Bordelon  aka Kofi Siriboe

Procreation practice with this heartthrob would be everything! We could practice in the middle of the sugarcane farm or on a tractor. I wouldn’t even care if he cried about Darla afterwards.

Aug. 28, 2016 - Source: Mike Windle/Getty Images North America

Cotton Mouth aka Mahershala Ali

I’d have procreation practice in a New York minute with Cotton Mouth on a subway to Harlem on a rooftop of his club under the Moonlight. (See what I did there?)

Photo Credit: http://www.denofgeek.com/uk/tv/marvels-luke-cage/44167/marvels-luke-cage-mahershala-ali-cottonmouth-interview

 Marshawn Lynch

Although he’s retired, procreation practice on the 50 yard line is still ideal. I’d be like: “Aye Marshawn, you know why I’m here!”

John David Washington

John David is procreation practice worthy because No. 1 he’s fine as hell!  And No. 2, he’s Denzel Washington’s offspring! And from what I’m told an apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. So, it’s pretty apparent that knocking boots with John David on any stage or movie set is the best thing for my life. As a matter fact, practice would turn into game time, because I definitely would need to produce a child from this man. He's a keeper and I wouldn't divorce him for obvious reasons. 

Photo Credit: Getty Images and HBO

Tell me who you’re trying to have Procreation Practice with…