ME vs. me

ME vs. Me

Internal and external battles are a real thing! I’m constantly battling me all the time. There’s so many things taking place within me, I rarely have time or energy to battle someone else.  Here’s a glimpse of one of my many battles…

Polite Me vs. Pop Off Me:

Every now and then I have an encounter where I have to make a decision to either display my polite self or the “pop off” version of me. In many cases people are able to enjoy my pleasant side. Usually I’m upbeat. I’m kind, I’ll flash my Colgate smile, embrace you with a hug or even crack a funny joke. That’s pretty much me ninety-five percent of the time. Then there are times when I am placed in scenarios where certain situations call for me to make a vital decision: To pop off or not to pop off? That is the question. Just recently I was put in such a predicament. Here’s the story:

I go to the doctor for my annual check-up. Seems pretty routine right? But for some strange reason at my new doctor, in my new town, my educational background is on my patient chart. This should have been my first red flag when I first started going to this physician, but then I figured they must use this information for statistical data, however after this visit I think they use it to be pricks! With that being said you can imagine this visit didn’t go so well. In walks my doctor with her laptop, she pulls up my chart and after “hello” she says: “I see you have a Master’s degree.” (Strike 1) My reply: “Yes, indeed.” However, in my head I’m thinking what does my degree have to do with the price of tea in china? What does my degree have to do with this visit and why in the hell does it matter?

What happened next could have led to a path of probation or even jail, had I allowed the “pop off” to me win. She proceeds to go through the steps of my physical and puts the stethoscope on my back and asks me to take a deep breath. I do as instructed and I inhale while simultaneously moving my hair out of the way. (I’m currently rocking a very cute natural styled weave that falls close to my bra strap) The doc then says: “Is this your hair?” (Strike 2) I reply: “No.” Her response: “Good, I was about to say that’s not fair because my hair is so thin.” (Strike 3) Let me not begin on what's not fair lady!!!

WTF???? I literally had to do a Zach Morris Time Out moment and have a come to Jesus meeting with myself. I was truly appalled at this educated professional’s lack of cultural sensitivity, considering she was a woman of color, although she wasn’t a Black. But based on the comments throughout my physical, I could tell she identified with certain stereotypical ideologies.

I could have popped off, which I really wanted to, or I could have educated her on her ignorance, since my actual hair is as thick and strong in texture as the extensions in my scalp. But then I thought: every moment of my life shouldn’t have to be a teachable moment, and I just went on and let polite me live.